Scoring the Wedding
by quicksilversquared
Summary: Alix and Kim's wedding is fast approaching, and all of their friends want to play a little trick on them during the reception. They need to do something funny, something classy, something that might embarrass the bride and groom a little but not too much... ...Scoring kisses never hurt anybody, right? (Marriage Mayhem Pt. 1)


"All right everyone, gather 'round," Alya called over the chatter filling the room. "You'll have time to talk later. We have plans to make, remember?"

"That's what you've said before, and yet I still have no idea what you're talking about." Marinette gave her best friend a reproachful look as she abandoned the conversation she had been having with Rose and Juleka. "Are you going to tell us now, or are you going to keep on teasing us?"

"You'll find out. That is, if people _stop talking and listen to me_." Alya glared in the direction of her living room. Ivan and Adrien finally stopped talking, looking sheepish as they did. " _Thank you_."

"You mentioned some sort of revenge," Nathaniel said, frowning at Alya. He shifted on the couch arm he was perched on. "Care to explain?"

"Of course." Now that the attention of the room was fully on her, Alya straightened up, looking pleased. "So as you all know, Alix and Kim are getting married in two weeks, after they finish up with their reports and come back home. And as any of you who has ever had a significant other knows, they _really_ like making a big deal about it whenever other people kiss in front of them."

"Which is _hugely_ hypocritical of them," Adrien said with a grumble. "I thought they would stop when they got together."

Everyone nodded in agreement. At the time, the whole class had breathed a sigh of relief when the years endless challenges and taunts had led to Kim and Alix dating each other, but alas, their relief was short-lived. Alix and Kim trained with each other and tried to drag other people into challenges against both of them. When that failed, they challenged each other, just like they had before. On top of that, they had turned into possibly the most shameless couple in the world in terms of PDA. It was ironic, really, considering that they had delighted in catcalling and hooting whenever any of their friends shared a chaste kiss.

Alya pointed at Adrien. "Exactly. So I figured that this was a good time to tease them right back. They'll be kissing at the reception, correct?"

The question was aimed at Max, who nodded in agreement. "Affirmative. They will be sticking to the traditional kissing upon the clinking of two glasses at the reception dinner and possibly also through the dances." Max adjusted his glasses and consulted something on his phone. "They considered alternatives such as requiring people to sing a song or shoot a basket in order to get them to kiss, but Kim's mother nixed the idea as too complicated."

Adrien laughed. "And they wouldn't get to kiss as often if they did that. That probably convinced them to keep it simple too."

Ivan was frowning at Alya. "I'm not catcalling them at their reception. That's just rude."

"And boring, and predictable," Nino added, shifting so he was standing at Alya's side. "That wasn't what we were thinking of. We wanted to do something funny and out of the box, but we need your help to figure out what."

There was a long pause.

"Uh, I don't know what you're looking for," Mylene said at last. She, like most of the other people in the assembled group, looked confused.

Alya huffed. "I want to find some way to embarrass Kim and Alix when they're kissing _without_ being tacky about it. I was hoping for some brainstorming to go on."

"I'm still a bit lost," Adrien admitted. "Like, what do you want us to do? Talk about Kim and Alix kissing like we're sports announcers or something? I wouldn't know what to say; that's more Alix and Kim's forte."

The rest of the group nodded in agreement. Everyone knew how both Kim and Alix had become sports announcers following school- Alix because it was something she had always been interested in, and Kim because it was the best choice for him after a knee injury ended his competitive running career- and they were _fabulous_ at it. They had even been tapped to go to the Summer Olympics and cover several of the events there for the Paris viewers. That was where they were now, finishing up with the last few events. It was simultaneously very strange and very cool to turn on the TV to watch the Olympics and hear their friends' voices.

Surprisingly enough, both of them had managed to refrain from saying anything inappropriate on live TV so far.

Alya perked up. "Actually, I think you might be onto something. We could steal a microphone and be, like, ' _Alix and Kim kiss again, a 2.5-second long liplock earning a score of three out of nine for passion and a one out of five for creativity, for a total of four out of a possible fifteen points-_ '"

"Fourteen points," Max corrected.

"Actually, that might work!" Nino exclaimed. He got dubious looks from nearly everyone in the room, which he dutifully ignored. "Not a complete announcement, but, like, scores. We could give everyone a whiteboard and a marker and every time Kim and Alix kiss, we give them a score! It's not super-obnoxious and then a bunch of people can do it, not just one. It'll be funnier that way, and people can ignore us if they want."

"But it'll still get a rise out of Kim and Alix," Alya said with a grin. Around the room, more than a few of the others looked interested. "Let's do it."

* * *

The day of Alix and Kim's wedding dawned clear and bright. The wedding party got busy around ten as people frantically dashed back and forth, making sure that the decorations were in place in both the wedding hall and the reception area and that the bride and groom were ready. They had decided to go somewhat untraditional for both decorations and clothing, much to the horror of Alix's father, but it still looked fabulous. Whole plants replaced floral arrangements, blue banners replaced white, both bride and groom wore athletics-inspired formalwear (Dupain-Cheng originals, of course) and Alix was wearing sneakers (clean, at least) under her dress. There were still things to finish, of course, but it was under control.

Several blocks away, other preparations were being made.

"We've got a bunch of extra whiteboards," Alya told Marinette as they pulled the boards out of their packaging. "They were on sale in the larger packages so that's what Nino bought. Max persuaded a couple of Alix and Kim's coworkers and other friends to join us and he also said that it's possible that some people from Alix's or Kim's family might want to join in as well, so we'll just bring all of them."

"And you have enough markers?"

Alya held up several giant packages filled with thick black dry erase markers. "Yup!"

"This is going to be fun to smuggle in." Marinette let out a long sigh as she hefted up the giant stack of whiteboards. They were fairly thin compared to some of the other whiteboards Nino had said he had found, but with as many as they had, the stack was pretty heavy.

"It won't just be us carrying them. Juleka and Rose said they could carry some as well. We're lucky that big purses are in right now." Alya gestured to the pile of purses in her open closet. "Mylene said that she couldn't, since she's a bridesmaid, but if we divide this up between four bags we should be pretty good."

Marinette still looked unconvinced. "And we never talked about how we were actually going to get these handed out at the reception. We're going to be all spread out. Max and Mylene and Ivan are all going to be at the main table, right?"

"At first, yeah. But Max said that the seating isn't exactly fixed, so they could probably slip away and get their boards and maybe join other tables once things get going. I didn't catch all of it, of course, but they thought they could still do it, during the dances at the very least." Alya started dividing up the boards unto four piles. "Hopefully more. Max said that it's possible that the parents and other immediate family might sit closest to Alix and Kim instead the rest of the wedding party. He didn't know for sure."

Nino, who had just entered the room, raised an eyebrow at them. "Max didn't know something?"

Alya swatted at her fiancée. "Don't tease him. I think the plans were being kept somewhat flexible."

"Still, that's new. Max normally knows everything and hates when things are flexible."

"I doubt he actually had a choice. I got the impression that Kim's mother was doing a pretty good job of running the show." Adrien walked into the room behind Nino, carrying two garment bags over his arms. He rounded his friend so he could go perch on the arm of the couch Marinette was on. "Are you two done? We should probably be getting ready to go soon."

"Not all of us take hours to get ready, Mr. Model," Alya said with a grin as she divided up the pile of boards and markers. She handed a stack to Marinette and slid another stack into her oversized purse. "And it's not as though we need to be, like, crazy put together since we're not in the wedding party. But if it makes you feel better, I _suppose_ I could slip into my dress now."

* * *

They got to the wedding with plenty of time, even after waiting for Rose and Juleka to swing by to pick up their share of the whiteboards. The ceremony was fairly short, and then they all headed to the reception.

It took longer than Alya would have liked to get the boards handed out. The group of friends hadn't been able to sit together during the ceremony since they had come in at different times, and then the reception hall was a mess. Kim and Alix both had fairly large extended families, plus quite a few friends, former teammates, and coworkers that had all been invited. Alya and Marinette had tried to linger near the doors at first, but Kim's mother didn't let them stay long. She ushered them towards a far table, ignoring their protest as she herded them into their seats before leaving to divert more of the guests to tables.

"We didn't anticipate Kim's mother," Alya said sheepishly as Nino and Adrien settled next to her and Marinette. She craned her neck, trying to look around the room. "This won't work if there aren't a lot a lot of us doing it!"

"At least if Kim's mother gets everyone seated, the others will be able to find us more easily," Nino pointed out, accepting a board from Marinette and sliding it behind himself on his chair. Adrien took a board as well and slipped it into his suit. "We won't all be moving through the crowd, accidentally missing each other."

"And we should be fairly visible in this crowd," Adrien added with a grin. "Or rather, Nino and I are. You and Mari might be a little too short to stick out- _oof!_ " Marinette had elbowed him in the stomach, making the couple that had just settled at the other end of the table eye them uncertainty. Adrien ignored them and pouted at Marinette. "Mari!"

She only stuck out her tongue at him in response.

"Rude, Agreste," Alya told him. "Mari and I aren't _that_ small. You and Nino are just part-giant."

Adrien grinned.

It took a while, but Nino's prediction came true. Their former classmates found them without a huge problem and each took a whiteboard and a marker to smuggle away without raising _too_ much suspicion. The two other couples now residing at their table had started sending them weird looks, but neither had commented about the whiteboards out loud. They could see Rose and Juleka covertly handing out boards across the room as well. They had apparently found a couple of Kim's cousins to join in as well. By the time Kim and Alix got downstairs and settled at their table, all of the boards had found homes and were ready to go.

Almost immediately, someone called for a kiss.

Kim and Alix glanced up at the room, startled for a moment before Alix's brother leaned over to prompt them. They kept the kiss short and chaste, only a quick brush of lips on lips.

Markers were uncapped. Numbers were scribbled. Then, almost as one, twenty-five whiteboards rose into the air, displaying a sea of 1's and 0.5's.

The burst of laughter that rose from the rest of the guests startled Alix and Kim , who had been too busy staring at each other to notice the boards. They glanced out at the rest of the room in confusion, but everyone had already stashed their boards away under their tables. The couple exchanged a puzzled glance and a shrug before turning their attention elsewhere.

"Oh, this is great," Alya chortled, watching with hawk eyes as Alix's brother talked with the couple, fighting to keep a straight face the entire time. Jalil's girlfriend was having a much harder time controlling the twitching corners of her mouth. "Just to plan!"

"How long do you think it'll take for Kim and Alix to catch on?" Nino asked, grinning. "Three kisses? Four?"

"Probably only three," Alya said as another clinking of glasses requested another kiss from the bride and groom. Kim and Alix responded faster this time, dipping in for another fast kiss to the cheers of the room. Everyone held up their same numbers again- well, almost everyone. Adrien exchanged his 1 for a 0.5 before he held up his board up. The cheers at the kiss were replaced by laughter again and this time, Kim managed to catch a brief glance of several of the boards before they got hidden. A slight frown crossed his face as he leaned down to say something to Alix, who in turn turned to ask Jalil a question. "Ooh, they're on to us now."

"That's the fun part, though," Adrien said with a grin. A server slid a basket of bread onto their table and he leaned forward to take a piece. "I wanna see their reactions. Otherwise they're just being confused and that's boring."

"For you, maybe. I think it's hilarious." Alya snatched a piece of bread and bit down on it. She tossed the rest of the piece down onto her napkin in a hurry when one of Kim's cousins called for another kiss. "Is it just me or are a lot of people calling for kisses pretty fast? I thought it only happened a few times throughout the reception."

"I think that cousin has a scoreboard. They just want to judge the kisses." Alya held up her board again as the couple shared yet another boring kiss. A few more 1's had decreased to 0.5's this time, which led to more snickering from the people paying attention to the scorecards. Both Kim and Alix glanced out quickly this time, catching the board as they started to lower. Kim looked puzzled, but Alix grinned. Flashing a smirk at the crowd, she pulled Kim back down for a longer, deeper kiss. Everyone cheered.

Numbers were erased and rewritten before boards were raised back up. This time, 4's and 5's dominated. When Alix saw them, she grinned triumphantly and pumped a fist.

From there on out, the kisses got longer as Kim and Alix tried to increase their scores. The few guests that had looked disgruntled about the scorecards at the beginning lost their sour looks as it became obvious that the bride and groom had no problem with it and they even started joining the rest of the crowd in checking out the scores after each kiss.

"I'm glad Alix and Kim have no problem with PDA," Adrien said after a particularly long kiss. He scribbled a 6.75 on his board and held it up. "I'd feel bad about doing this if they were shy about kissing in front of other people."

"Oh, no kidding." Marinette held up her board (with a 6.5) and grinned at the playful glare Kim shot her way. "There is no _way_ people normally request this many kisses at a reception. People are doing it extra just to get the scores."

There was no denying that. The crowd had gotten more and more invested in the scores, to the point where they were ignoring the kissing couple in favor of watching the scores go up or down.

"Your scoring isn't even remotely standardized!" Kim yelled over the noise from the crowd as the scoreboards went down. "That was worth more than a _five and a half_ , Nathaniel!"

"You're lacking in the creativity department!" Nathaniel called back. "That's a large component of your score!"

"You just made that up!"

"Traditionally, creativity is a component of the score for many sports," Max called from where he had ended up on the dance floor. Alix's brother had claimed Max's board when he got up. "For example, synchronized swimming has an Artistic Impression component and gymnastics has an artistry component in their execution score."

Kim made a face.

"I'm starting to feel like we maybe should be concerned about them keeping it appropriate," Adrien said after the couple's next kiss, which appeared to involve a lot of tongue. Two tables over, a mother covered her kid's eyes. "They're starting to toe that line."

"I'M GONNA START DOCKING POINTS FOR INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR!" Marinette yelled over to the sound of the crowd. Both Kim's and Alix's eyes flashed over to her and she sent them a narrow-eyed glare before gesturing to the kids stampeding past the next table over. Alix's eyes widened and she nodded in understanding.

The next ten minutes saw two more kisses and plenty of loud debating over scores. Kim had taken to checking the scores immediately after each kiss and arguing with people when the scores they gave him weren't high enough for his tastes. Following Nathaniel's lead, more people had started demanding creativity in the kisses, which Alix and Kim were trying to interpret as creative use of the tongue.

True to her promise, Marinette docked their score at that. Kim grumbled loudly.

"What all are you looking for for creativity?" one of the other men sitting at their table asked. "Are you just trolling them with that, or...?"

The four of them exchanged a look. "Dips would be nice," Adrien said after a moment. "Or anything besides just a boring kiss, really. If we were doing, like, points for difficulty that would have been cool too."

"Difficulty points for a kiss?" Nino sounded supremely doubtful. "Dude, then we'd have Kim kissing Alix while lifting her or something."

There was a long pause.

"Actually," Alya said slowly, giant grin on her face. "That would be more fun to watch."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Ivan and Mylene moved out onto the dance floor. They looked a little nervous, which would look weird to the outside observer, but not to anyone who knew what was going on. They eased into the waltz easily enough, gradually relaxing into the steps. They drew the attention of the crowd without even trying thanks to Ivan's size, which was exactly what they wanted. The music grew to a crescendo and Ivan picked Mylene up easily, spinning her around through the air. They both leaned forward and exchanged a kiss while Mylene was still mid-air- it was a miracle that they didn't bash into each other harder than they meant to, really- before Ivan set her back down and they continued in their dance.

The whiteboards went up, this time with 9's and 10's.

There were yelps of protest from the main table, where Alix and Kim had settled back down after doing their obligatory couple's dance, father/daughter dance and mother/son dance. The newly married duo looked positively outraged that another couple had gotten higher scores than they had ad on their first try to boot. Ivan and Mylene smirked at that and continued serenely dancing around the room.

Unnoticed, Adrien and Marinette slipped onto the dance floor next. Marinette took a moment to get into step and they were spinning across the room. They danced for a minute, then worked their way towards the part of the dance floor that was visible to the majority of the room. They spun in several eye-catching circles, and then Adrien spun Marinette into a deep dip, letting the ends of her hair brush the floor before he kissed her and pulled her back upright. There were cheers at that, and then a sea of 10's went up into the air.

"You guys play unfair," Kim yelled from his seat. "C'mon, really? Give us a 10!"

"You gotta earn it!" Nino yelled back as Adrien and Marinette finished their dance and stepped off the floor. "We even gave you examples! How much easier can we make it? Or are you scared you won't be able to make the cut?"

 _That_ got a reaction.

Kim and Alix moved out onto the dance floor in a heartbeat. Guests moved out of their way, scooting to the edges of the room so they could watch the duo pull out their best moves. They swung quickly into a passable waltz (athletic as they were, neither Alix nor Kim really had the patience to learn how to dance properly) and circled around the dance floor. It didn't take long for them to try to pull off the same move that Ivan and Mylene had with the lift.

Unfortunately for them, Ivan and Mylene had done the lift before during their couples dance classes and knew how to do it well. Kim and Alix leaned forward a little too much and ended up knocking teeth instead of planting a light kiss on each other's lips.

"Ooh, I almost don't want to score that," Marinette said with a cringe as she wiped her board clean. That didn't stop her from quickly scribbling down a 5 and holding it up. "Maybe we should have told him that Ivan and Mylene have practiced that one before."

"They make it look easy," Adrien admitted, stealing a bite of cake off of Marinette's plate while she was still distracted. "Ivan told me that it took a lot of practice and the fact that Mylene is so small compared to him helped. I still think Kim and Alix could've pulled it off, though. They just didn't have their hands in the right places."

"You an expert on dancing now, Agreste?"

"Of course he is, Nino," Alya answered before Adrien could say anything. "Did you seriously forget who you were talking to? He's taken dance classes for practically his entire life."

"Only the occasional lesson," Adrien protested, but no one was listening. Their attention had been drawn back to the dance floor, where Kim had just guided Alix into a deep dip. Their kiss this time was much more careful, and when Kim pulled Alix back up to her feet (even from a distance, it looked like Alix's knuckles had gone white from clutching at Kim during the dip), he looked around triumphantly before scowling at the sea of 8's and 9's he got.

"Oh, come on!" Kim complained as Alix snickered next to him. "Really, you guys? What's the problem now? That was a ten!"

"You're too stiff!" Nathaniel called. The redhead looked like he was enjoying the whole ordeal _way_ too much. "Relax!"

"Your _face_ is too stiff!" Kim yelled right back before Alix pulled him back into the dance. Kim was still busy scowling at his snickering friends when Alix very deliberately tipped him off balance. He yelped as he stumbled and fell backwards, only for Alix to catch him just before he hit the floor. She smirked at his expression, then pressed a kiss to his lips and pulled him back upright to the sound of the guests cheering.

"I didn't know she was strong enough to catch him like that," Alya said with a laugh as she wrote a 10 on her board and held it up. All around the room, people were giving Alix full points. "For someone that small, she sure is strong."

"HAH! Suck on that, Kim!" Alix had let go of Kim and was dancing in triumphant circles around the cleared dance floor. "Perfect scores from everyone! Hah!" She pumped her fist in the air, giant smile on her face.

Kim only groaned.

Two hours later, everyone was finally starting to leave. Whiteboards got passed back to the people who had carried them in, and Kim and Alix finally stopped pulling crazy kissing stunts to say goodbye to their guests.

"You all suck, I hope you know that," Kim said with a laugh as their group filed towards the door and said their goodbyes. "You really do."

"You know you love us," Alya said with a laugh, leaning in to hug Alix. "And you looked like you were having fun with it. You weren't going to do those fabulous crazy kisses otherwise."

"Oh, I suppose, but I just want you to know something." Kim glared at them playfully, eyes narrowing as he pointed to each of them in turn.

"When all of y'all get married, we are _coming_ for you."

* * *

/

 _A/N: As with most of my stories this is a one-shot and therefore complete._

 _This was actually based off of something that happened during a wedding in my (extended) family. My mom's cousin is a bit of a jokester and had said something at another family member's wedding about how they should judge the kisses at the reception and then when that cousin got married, all of the family members scored his kissing! His reaction was the basis for Kim's behavior to the same scenario._

 _Please leave reviews! They make my day :)_


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